It’s no secret that gay hookups are huge in the LGBTQ community. For many men, they are the only way to meet another guy and have hot gay sex. But it doesn’t matter if you want to bang a guy’s brains out and never see him again or engage in a romantic relationship — gay hookups come with a set of social rules and several sexual health practices.
If you don’t know how to start, this article will reveal the unspoken rules of gay hookups that you should consider before finding your next fling!
Be Clear With Your Intention
Firstly, gay hookups are wild and exciting, but you may not always get what you are looking for. Before any sort of date or arrangement, you need to understand what you want. You also need to be direct with your date.
If you’re using an app and are hunting around for some instacock, let the other guy know your intentions. If you only want to fuck, you will need to stand behind your decision.
Still, not every guy is looking for a fling. Many men have found their gay spouses through dating apps. If you want a romantic relationship or even just a new buddy, you have to be upfront about it. It will help you achieve your goal much quicker.
If you’re unclear, the other person could misinterpret you, which could lead to disappointment. You could even get hurt if you don’t let the other person know about your status and boundaries.
Know Your Status
Before having sex with a hookup, you should yours and your partner’s status. If you have an STD or are doing drugs, your date will need to know. Also, you shouldn’t lie about such a serious matter. The same goes for your partner. You will have to ask for their status before trying anything. If they don’t want to use condoms or are unclear regarding their status, move on.
It’s your responsibility to watch for your own and your partner’s health. That should undoubtedly be your priority. You should familiarize yourself with some acronyms like DDF (disease and drug-free) and Poz (HIV-positive). If you’re unsure of the proper testing procedures, you can do further research. Also, you can talk to some friends at a pride parade or an LGBTQ party.
Finally, if you are using popular gay dating apps, there’s a chance that they will also provide you with some form of notification regarding your partner’s status. Still, it’s easy to fall for someone’s lies if you’re gullible.
Once you determine what you want, you will also need to prepare. In fact, you’ll need to get ready both mentally and physically. Being unprepared until the last minute can lead to all sorts of issues. That includes unsafe sex, disappointment, emotional trauma, or just bad sex.
If you’re unsure how to plan your date, things will be much safer if all the action happens at your place. That way, you’ll have a comfortable environment with all the supplies you need. If you’re at home base, you’ll also be able to maintain proper hygiene much better. You’ll always have extra towels, pillows, and tissues on tap. Plus, you can prepare a stash of condoms, and you won’t have to worry about not having one during the moment of truth.
However, unplanned quickies in a car or public toilet can also be exciting. If you prefer that, just remember to use condoms and be ready to part ways once your kinky encounter is over.
It Must Always Be Consensual
If you consider yourself a top, remember that not every gay or bisexual man will take you inside his ass. You have to respect your partner’s boundaries and always get consent. That means you will have to get permission from the other guy before you try anything.
It doesn’t matter how horny you are or how casual the sex is — your hookup may not want you to shove your cock down his throat or play rough without any previous indication! So it’s always smart to ask your date and go over some boundaries regarding oral sex, penetrative sex, etc. You can agree on what you want to try in bed, and you can also discuss the off-limits things.
If you’re a bottom, you will have to express your boundaries clearly. All sexual kinks require consent, no matter how intense they are or how much pleasure they can bring. That means you will need to discuss the use of toys, accessories like blindfolds or ropes, roleplay, etc.
We cannot stress this enough: always use a condom. If your partner tells you that condoms make sex awkward or gives you other excuses, ignore him. There are plenty of gay and bisexual men that take care of their health and use condoms. When it comes to men who have sex with men, condoms are essential. They can protect you against HIV and other diseases. They provide a barrier that can safeguard both the giving and the receiving party.
No matter how good anal sex feels without a condom, you should always use one or ask your partner to do so. Also, always remember to use a lubricant with condoms. That will decrease the risk of anal tears and discomfort during penetration. Also, wearing protection will shield you against STI infections.
SEE: Different Types of Contraception You Might Want To Know
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions After
You can always continue chatting with your hookup after sex. If you are clear about your goals, your partner will listen to you.
If you had a good time, you can try to engage in conversation and arrange another date with that person. You can also ask the guy out on a dinner date that could move your relationship forward. As another example, you could go to an LGBTQ party and hang out with other gay men and people of various sexual orientations.
Of course, that may not apply to all hookups. If you’re looking for a quick fuck, don’t expect a lot of chatting afterward. It’s almost a rule not to talk to your fuck-buddy because the act is meant to be free of emotions or devotion.
The Bottom Line
Mastering the unspoken etiquette of gay hookups is not too complicated. Just follow our advice and think about your intentions and health. And good luck with your sexual adventures!